This is not my first rodeo when it comes to New Years. I have ridden this Bronco so many times I cannot remember how many. Well, I can remember, but I am not going to let that slip. Something to do with a New Year’s Resolution.
Back in the days of youth, I used to stay up to watch the New Year’s Eve ball drop. Now, I see so many people drop the ball during the year that I don’t want to see another one on New Year’s Eve. I’ve seen enough of that.
At my stage in life, health is more important than watching something I have seen a thousand times before.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage agrees with me on this issue. It is one of the few issues that we agree on so why should I mess with it.
One thing about starting over again is trying not to make the same mistakes you made last year. It is good to sit down and think about all the mistakes you have made last year and mine came to one.
When I got to that issue, I proudly shared it with my spouse. I was so excited that I could only think of one mistake I made last year and I really wanted to share it with her.
“What do you mean,” she said rather suspiciously, “you only made one mistake last year?”
With a great deal of excitement, I nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yes, I only made one mistake last year and my resolution is not to make the same mistake this year.”
“What was that mistake?”
“My biggest mistake last year was that I forgot to give you a birthday card.”
I thought I was in good territory here. I thought I was playing into her heart and she would be happy for this resolution.
“A birthday card?”
“Yes,” I said as seriously as possible. “I don’t remember getting you a birthday card this past year and I want to make it up to you in the coming year.” What could be better than that kind of solution for a year of mistakes?
She stared at me with sort of a twinkle in her eye, which at the time confused me. I know what a sarcastic stare is. I know what an anger stare is. I know what an enthusiastic stare is. I also know what a confused stare is. But a twinkle in her eye!
My biggest mistake for the New Year may be not knowing what this twinkle in her eye is all about. Is she agreeing with me? Or, am I in more trouble than I can really comprehend?
There was a moment of awkward silence. Actually, that moment stretched to several moments of silence, which I am not accustomed to. When my wife is silent, something is developing that I am not going to be prepared for.
When her silence had exhausted itself, she simply said, “So, you only made one mistake last year?”
I’m worried now. I thought I was trying to get the New Year started off in a very positive direction. Now I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Then she began with a series of, “Remember the time when…?”
If what she said was true, I came quite close last year to making one mistake for every day. Oh boy! If she is correct, no two mistakes were the same. I am not sure if anybody can make that many mistakes in a given year. Either, I am crazy or I am a genius in the area of making mistakes.
To read the entire Out to Pastor column by Dr. James Snyder, see the Jan. 11 edition of The Central Virginian.