I enjoy having children as part of worship. They bring spontaneity, joy, energy, inquisitiveness and wonder to what’s going on. There are times, however, where they are in an emotional state where they just need to act out. Sometimes life is just a little too much for them and they have a meltdown – sometimes right in the middle of the Sanctuary. While the parents are mortified, all of us who have been parents of young children know that these things will happen, and we rush to comfort the parents once the “event” has passed. Truthbe- told, in our world today it’s not just the children who are acting out – folks who are long beyond their childhood lose their minds and act out in ways that are both visible and harmful.

Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, has this to say about why all of us at times in our lives are prone to acting out. Dr. Marks writes, “…Acting out occurs when we find it difficult to process or express our emotions in healthy ways. Instead of verbally sharing how we feel or even consciously recognizing our true feelings, we unconsciously express our distress through actions or behaviors. Think of a child having a tantrum when they’re tired, overwhelmed, or hungry. They’re not yet equipped to manage their emotions effectively. Adults can do this too. We’ve all had our moments, but consistent patterns of acting out suggest we’re struggling with underlying, unresolved emotional conflicts….”

When we are healthy and have at least a modest amount of self-insight, then we are able to understand when we are getting worked up (“rage baited” in common parlance). We can then take steps to get out of the situation or remove the stimulus, count to ten slowly, breathe in and out deeply and slowly, and otherwise calm and soothe ourselves. We can return to a place where we are less reactive and more able to act in ways that don’t cause more harm.

The blessed assurance we have as beloved children of God is that we have a source of help that we can go to when we get to the point of boiling over. We have holy scriptures and teachings, and we have examples of people who have followed the teachings of religious masters to find a way through without acting out. That is what religious and spiritual teachings are for – they exist to help us find a way through – but we have to use them. For example, the Buddha taught, “However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?”

Yes…all the helpful teachings in the world are useless if they fall on deaf ears and are never acted upon. Spiritual and religious teachings only help us and the rest of the world when they are acted out. Acting out into the world with unconditional love, forgiveness, acceptance, peace, joy, mercy and kindness provides a balm for a hurting and reactive world. When we can keep ourselves from acting out of our overwrought emotions and instead act out of love and understanding, then we find ourselves deescalating situations instead of adding more fuel to the fires that are already burning out of control. People are acting out all around us. Maybe you are finding yourself in a fragile emotional state right now as well. There is a place where you can go to find some relief and some tools to help you get your emotions back in balance – a place that will support and love you while you work out just what’s bugging you and why. Those places are faith communities, and there’s more than 100 of them right here in Louisa County. There’s probably a faith community within a very short distance from where you live. There you will find good people trying their best to act out the teachings of unconditional love and acceptance of each other. Acting out of those emotions will set you on a path that is far less reactive and far more constructive. I hope you will act this week to find a faith community to call home. Blessings for your journey!

The Rev. Albrant is pastor of Mineral and Mount Pleasant United Methodist churches.