Recently Rick and I had dinner out, and as we were seated I noticed a trio next to us. On one side of the table was a couple who appeared to be in their 70’s, and opposite them was an older woman in a wheelchair.

They had just been seated right before us, and were perusing their menus. Dear Readers, I don’t generally listen to other peoples’ conversations, but they were all a bit hard of hearing and spoke loudly to each other. Initially I wasn’t actively listening, but there was just no escaping hearing what they had to say.

We quickly realized that the couple (we’ll call them John and Jane) were dating, and things between them were getting serious enough that Jane wanted to introduce John to her mother – the older woman at the table. We’ll call her Mary. They had all gathered at the restaurant so Mary and John could get acquainted. They ordered their meals and began chatting, as follows: Mary: “Well now, tell me about yourself, John.”

John: “ Okay, I was the only one of six children to be born at a hospital. The rest were born at home. I have two sisters and three brothers and I am the only one that is circumcised.”

(Ok, on that last point these folks had my COMPLETE attention! And John was not joking at all, but was completely serious. It was all I could do not to laugh at the unexpected pearl that John had just shared with his girlfriend’s mother. Plus, I could see the look on Jane’s face.

But to her credit, she took the comment in stride.)

Jane: “Honey, I’m not sure that’s what Mother was asking.”

John: “Why not? It’s true, isn’t it? Anyway, my dad took my mom to the theater one afternoon and while she was in there he loaded us six kids up in the car, along with his girlfriend and her child and we left New York City to drive to California.”

Jane: “Can you just imagine two adults and seven children in one car traveling across the country?”

Mary: “My goodness!”

John: “We went home six months later and were reunited with my mother. Can you imagine coming out of the theater and going home to no one there? I didn’t see my dad for 30 years after that.”

Jane: “Mother has a good story – before they had me, her and my dad were traveling across the country in an RV and they stopped for gas. She was sleeping in the back. My dad went inside to pay and she went around back to use the bathroom and he came out and drove off without her. He didn’t know that she wasn’t in the RV and there were no cell phones back then, so of course she just had to sit at the gas station and wait for him to come back. It was a small town and people kept coming up to her as word spread, to commiserate that her husband had left her behind.”

Mary: “It was really embarrassing, as you might imagine.”

John: “And lemme tell you another thing. My sister murdered her husband. But he deserved it, he sure did.”

The conversation was fairly mundane thereafter, plus we finished our meal, paid, and left. But Rick and I had plenty of discussion (and laughter) about them in the car on the way home. We agreed that when someone asks you to tell them about yourself, acceptable topics might include occupation or where you’re from. Maybe hobbies. But you just don’t lead off with whether you’re circumcised, or how Dad left Mom. Or how your Sister committed murder!

Perhaps John is of an age where he’s just finished with small talk, like the weather, and prefers to get to the important stuff as quickly as possible? And what did Mary (who must have been 90ish) think after meeting John? And did the Sister go to jail?

Sadly, I’ll never have the answers to these questions.

But it was entertaining, to have both dinner AND a show that evening!

Laura lives in Zion Crossroads with her husband and two cats. She can be reached at hallielaura@gmail.com.